Why I like Science Fiction and Susan Boyle
I spent many years being ashamed of my childhood. Numerous things happened that embarrassed me, scared me, made me anxious, lonely...alone. I realized recently that I like science fiction, at least in part, because life is not normal in most of the stories. Take the show Falling Skies...after the aliens invaded, there were no more picket fences, lacrosse games, or mom and dad at home for dinner with the family. No, instead the small scrappy band of resistance fighters are on the move, fighting hard, for a good cause --survival; the women don’t spend time putting on makeup because they are working with the men to keep everyone safe. They are in stressful, scary situations, but they work together and they are honorable. Things were so crazy in my childhood that it might as well have been aliens invading, but instead it was alcohol, drugs, broken relationships, and moving all the time. None of this was honorable or for a higher purpose. Until very recently, I thought there were no heroes. But I've been rethinking this...and I've realized that I was the hero of the story...too young to do a lot...but I took care of myself the best I could, and I survived.
I was a really messed-up kid behind all that. I had good moments, especially as I got older, but it is hard to find a picture as a child in which I’m smiling. I learned to stay quiet, not need anything, and get along with whatever was happening. I gained a lot of weight, and by the time I was thirteen I was obese. I also had trouble spelling, which caused my 9th grade social studies teacher to suggest I would be better off in the “basic” classes; the kids in those classes generally did not go to college. And this is why I like Susan Boyle. Whenever I need to smile at the end of the day, I go to youtube and watch the Britain's Got Talent show from 2009 when Susan Boyle walked out on stage, not looking that great and seeming to be anything but talented. And then she starts to sing, and people explode with clapping and positive emotions, even tears of joy for her. Did they see themselves in her? Probably-- that part of themselves that they doubt is worthy...but then she is worthy...and so are they? What a surprise.
3 comments:
Hilary!! Thank you - words fail. Are we related? Human experience relates us. Yes - we are the heroes of our stories - courageous, determined, finding our voices as we grow older - our experiences were different - but the silent, invisible (for me) child speaks - and she is the gift we offer to others now we have found her and acknowledged her strength. Still working on it, of course :-)
Thanks, Ros! :) I appreciate your comments very much.
I have been surfing the Net for places to blog now that my Facebook account is gone, and I found this. I am sorry you had such a hard childhood. Mine was rough too, but drugs and alcohol were not an issue, neither I nor my parents do drugs or drink alcohol. I was bullied by strict teachers and my peers, and my mother is an overachiever who wanted me to be just like her, get over my quirks and be "normal". My father was not at all strict; but even he,gentle as he was, had trouble understanding LGBT attractions. With the exceptions of the obesity and alcohol and drugs, and the fact that my parents weren't abusive, (my mother is strict but not abusive) our stories are similar. My parents expected too much of me but they wouldn't dream of bullying me. However, the similarities...they made me cry. But even so, I like getting to know you so I am glad I read it.
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